"It was implied." Sure. In what language?

There's a phrase I hear a lot in coaching sessions. People say it with a hint of embarrassment, like someone who's been forced to explain that water is wet - something so obvious it feels almost absurd to say out loud: "I thought it was understood."

And that's where I always stop. Because that phrase - seemingly harmless - is one of the most elegant ways to avoid taking responsibility for actually communicating.

Let's rewind. Meet Tommy.

Tommy is a sharp entrepreneur. The numbers back him up; the growth speaks for itself. He's the kind of leader who built something solid from scratch, and he knows it. Someone with good instincts, who reads situations fast, who gets it immediately. And that's exactly where the problem starts.

Because Tommy assumes everyone else reads situations the way he does.

Tommy wants more proactive employees. He wants them to come to him with problems already analyzed, a proposed solution in hand, with the company's best interests in mind. A completely reasonable ask; in fact, it's exactly the kind of culture that separates mediocre teams from great ones.

So Tommy starts asking questions. "How would you solve this?" He opens the floor to ideas, to collaboration, to dialogue. All good, right?

Not quite.

Within no time, the rumors start. "Tommy's asking us because he doesn't know what to do."

We could spend a lot of time unpacking the cultural dynamics at play here, but let's look at what those rumors actually did. Tommy's ego takes a hit. And Tommy's brain, like any human brain in a vulnerable moment, translates the whole thing into something far more personal and far more painful.

Immediate defensive reaction: next time, Tommy opens the conversation by making it clear he already has an idea, but he wants to hear theirs anyway. As he puts it himself: "I go in with my guard up."

Fair play for the honesty, Tommy.

But let's pause here, because there's something important worth naming.

In both attempts - the open one and the guarded one - Tommy forgot to communicate just one thing. One thing, but a crucial one.

The why.

Why am I asking for your input? Why does your perspective matter to me? Why does this company (which is yours, too) need your contribution right now, specifically?

That question didn't go unasked because Tommy didn't care. It went unasked because "it was implied."

And that's the heart of the matter.

Assuming the other person will pick up on the unspoken message is one of the most common (and most expensive) communication mistakes in any organization. It's less about intelligence and more about expectation.

When we leave something unsaid, we're quietly offloading the responsibility of interpretation onto someone else. And if they get it wrong? The hot potato of blame starts bouncing around, burning through energy, building resentment, and slowing everything down. Energy that would be far better spent on actual work.

The data is pretty unforgiving on this: Gallup's Q12 survey, conducted across more than 128,000 workers in 160 countries, tracks how many people strongly agree with the statement "I know what is expected of me at work." The result that should make every leader raise an eyebrow? Less than half: around 45%, and declining. In the US, it dropped to 44% in 2024, down from 55% in 2019. Gallup estimates that getting that number to eight in ten employees would drive a 22% reduction in turnover and a 10% boost in productivity.

Put simply, clear expectations mean fewer people walking out the door and more people bringing their best.

A separate study by pre-hire assessment firm ThriveMap, surveying workers in the UK and US, found that 48% of people have left a job because the reality of the role didn't match their expectations. We're talking about job responsibilities - not salary, not the difficult colleague. The fog that starts forming at the hiring stage and never quite lifts.

And here a critical reader might ask: "But why doesn't the employee just ask for clarification?" Great question - worth exploring. Is it personal? Is there a fear of looking stupid or incompetent? Or is it simply that the manager hasn't yet learned to communicate expectations clearly enough? Because sometimes, when someone tries to clear the fog, they walk straight into a wall.

Now, a question I hear a lot at this point: "Isn't this obvious? Isn't spelling everything out a bit patronizing?"

No. And it's an important distinction.

Explaining the why doesn't mean you don't trust people or their ability to read a room. It means respecting them enough to give them the full picture so they can do their best work. There's a world of difference between "do this" and "I'm asking you because your perspective on this part of the process is exactly what we're missing to make a better decision."

Think about how you'd feel on the receiving end of that second version. You'd have just experienced what conscious leadership actually feels like in practice. No manipulation required. No persuasion tactics needed.

Back to Tommy, because the story has an ending.

When Tommy understood this - when he stopped assuming things were "implied" and started making his expectations explicit, explaining why he was asking, and being clear about what he'd do with the input he received - conversations got richer. People felt more involved and came with more ideas. And most importantly, no one said Tommy didn't know what he was doing anymore. Because Tommy had made it very clear that he did.

Clarity is an act of care towards the people you work with. I'd go even further and add: clarity also sustains and deepens relationships, especially in moments of conflict. But we'll get into that in one of the next posts.

So, next time you're about to open a conversation and take something for granted, ask yourself: have I actually said everything that needs to be said? Have I explained the why? Have I made it clear what I'll do with what they give me?

If the answer is no, your next conversation is already an opportunity - the beginning of a new level of trust and connection with your team. Take it.

Sources

• Gallup (2024–2025). State of the Global Workplace Report and Q12 engagement research, item Q01: "I know what is expected of me at work." Data collected from ~128,000 workers across 160 countries. gallup.com/workplace/285674/improve-employee-engagement-workplace.aspx

• Gallup (2024). In New Workplace, U.S. Employee Engagement Stagnates — Jim Harter, Chief Scientist. gallup.com/workplace/608675/new-workplace-employee-engagement-stagnates.aspx

• ThriveMap (2019). Reality bites: Unmet expectations count for almost half of staff turnover. Survey of UK and US workers. Reported by HR Dive: hrdive.com/news/study-48-of-workers-have-left-a-job-because-it-didnt-meet-expectations/551179